The flutes are so important to me, not only soothing but healing and fun. And I had no idea this year, that playing flutes would become such an important part of my journey.
I have been playing different flutes since I was a teenager. My first flute was a bamboo flute that is played to the side, that I bought at a craft fair. I loved it and played it so much and still play it. Shortly after, still a teenager, I began listening to Renaissance music so my parents bought me a recorder flute. I still have that and enjoy playing it. Then, after my father passed away in 2007, I inherited his Native American-style flute. The sound of it was so earthy and soothing. I began playing it often.
Last year when I had the strokes, I left my father’s flute in my car on the hottest summer days and only realized earlier this year that it had cracked. That's when I researched flutes actually made by Native Americans (many say they are but aren't) and I found Blue Bear flutes where I got my Googol pine flute. I was so happy with it that I made a video giving Blue Bear Flutes a great review. The video review has since received hundreds of views on my YouTube channel. That is also how a very kind, generous man wrote to me and offered me flutes he could no longer play. They are flutes I could never have afforded to buy myself, and were in different keys, giving me more options. I began playing them every day and I love it. I even play to backing tracks, which helps me play with a certain tempo and expand my playing in other ways. In June, a drum and music circle was born in a nearby park where everyone is kind enough to ask me to play my flutes while they drum. It's such a great joy!
Because of the flutes, I have a new dream that can be realized through a few different avenues. One is to eventually find other musicians to play music with, preferably funk/jazz (my favorite) where I’ll play my flute and the others will play the instruments they play (I have absolutely no preconceived notions of what these instruments might be). We’ll perhaps create compositions to play out for the public or be completely improvisational. Either way, we’ll be - not a band, more of an ensemble though that sounds so formal - a group that will meet regularly and play what we love playing, creating together. Finding the other members of this group will be perhaps the toughest part, but I believe that if it’s meant to be, it will happen.
Another way my dream of playing flutes can be applied is to help others, as the flutes have helped me. In an online stroke survivor support group, I shared about my aphasia and said that music is helping, particularly flutes. If it's helping me, it can help others too. So one of my new goals is to reach out and help others with the flutes, especially many stroke survivors who, as I do, have an easier time communicating through art and music than with speaking. I will play for them and help them find their voice by guiding them to play their own flutes. The man who sent me flutes, sent me extras to gift to people who would like to play them for their own healing, so I am saving them for this purpose. (Thank you, Julian!)
I now have a sense of purpose, for the first time since the strokes. I have a new dream, though I know I am still very much in Healing Mode, with balance issues, crushing fatigue, and other things. So I will go slowly toward this new venture.